My first love letter was from a boy named Johnnie. I was 10 years old and had somehow gotten myself a boyfriend, one of the cutest in our class on top of that. I have no idea how. I'm assuming it was my big hair, bigger glasses, floral leggings, and the fact that I was 6 inches taller than almost everyone else. Who could resist me, really?
Johnnie got me pushed down on the playground by another girl who wanted him. I was wearing my new jeans with the zippers on the ankles, and they became quite muddy. I cried for my jeans, and no other reason. This incident also led to the meeting of my best friend, who is still my best friend 17 years later.
Anyway, the love letter.
It was on my desk when I walked into the classroom one morning and I couldn't believe he had written me anything.
See, my relationship with Johnnie was slightly... non-existent, for lack of a better term. Sure, we chased each other around the playground. I even wore his hat once. But I think we said a total of 25 words to each other over the span of our red hot romance.
But oh, how I loved him.
I wish I still had the letter so I could transcribe it here, but I'll do my best to recreate it from memory. I think I'll do well since it's not exactly wordy.
Dear Amber,
Will you go to the Junior Goose Ball* with me?
Yes or No
Circle an answer.
I love you,
Johnnie
He had first written sincerely or something, then erased it and proclaimed his love for me. That sentence is what immediately made me decide I would most definitely NOT be circling yes or no and giving it back to him, because I knew I had to horde that letter for the rest of my life, preferably under my pillow.
I told my new best friend to tell him I'd go with him and also that I wanted him to kiss me. Scandalous, I know.
I'm not sure of the circumstances, but I believe my BFF forgot to tell him I accepted his invitation. Why didn't I tell him myself? I guess I'll never know.
I showed up at the Goose Ball, and I believe my ensemble involved a purple mini skirt and a matching headband. Johnnie never showed.
I danced with a boy named Anthony. I don't remember the song, and I'm sure I never took my eyes off the gym door, waiting for my Johnnie.
Our relationship was never the same after that. We never officially broke up, but drifted apart. Two years later in 7th grade, he was my first kiss with tongue. He had a girlfriend at the time. I suppose I've always been the Other Woman. It suits me. He moved away after 7th grade.
I still have dreams about him, and in them we're both adults and madly in love. It's weird, but I like those dreams.
I really should stalk him on the internet. I wonder if he's still as cute?

*The Junior Goose Ball was a school dance. No matter what you might have first thought, it is not a tiny bird testicle.