Dating sucks.

Part of me really and truly feels I'll be single forever. Is this how most single person in their mid (upper) 20s feels?
I've been thinking about this lately.
The problem seems to be that I have no idea what I want or what I'm looking for, but at the same time I'm extremely picky. I mean, no wonder this is hopeless right?
So I'm going to make a general list of likes and dislikes when it comes to a boyfriend. Ready? This could be scary.


~Most importantly, sense of humor. (like duh, ask eharmony) The catch is, a lot of people think they're funny, but they're not. So I will amend this by saying he must get my sense of humor, and I must get his. Laughing will ensue.

~Let's be shallow for a moment. I like guys taller than me. I guess I'm not liberated or confident enough to be comfortable feeling like an amazon woman standing next to a guy. Going hand in hand with that is he must not be a stick figure that could wear a women's size 2. Not into balding men. This might change in 10 years when I'm still single. No back hair. Nice, not necessarily perfect, teeth. Dark hair is a plus, but blondies might make the cut. Red hair? I'll be honest. Probably not going to happen. A small penis is a sure fire way to get me to say goodbye. Tattoos? Love! Nicely and artistically done tattoos though. No tazmanian devil or batman symbol please. Muscle head with roid rage? F that.

~Now that we've established I'm a shallow bitch, let's move onto other things. Like having kids. The thought of dating someone with kids scares me. I've been thinking about being more lenient on this one, and I probably will be soon. But... One unique and possibly very bad thing about me, when it comes to finding someone anyway, is that I'm unsure I want children. Very unsure. Open to it, yes. But the guy must be open to NOT having children, if it comes down to it.

~Sex. Hmm. This is where it gets complicated. Bad kissers are not tolerated, that's why I always kiss on a first date. Genius, I know. Other than that, I won't go into detail but I'm extremely open minded and have experienced great things in the past, and my future boyfriend/husband/whatever will respect that and like the same things. I have a high standard when it comes to sex. I've intimidated a few guys in the past, and will probably intimidate more in the future. Just part of who I am.

~Job, car, phone, your own place, or at least roommates other than your parents. I mean those are all a given, but you'd be surprised...

~Must love animals, must love my cats, must not hunt. I will not compromise on any of those things. Ever.

~Must not be a homophobe or gay basher. Nothing gets under my skin like that does. Will also not compromise on this.

~No party guys. No lives-in-the-bar every weekend guys. There has to be a nice balance. One thing about a lot of men on dating sites is that they stress how active they are, how they can't sit still. Barely watch TV. Must.Be.Moving.Always. I mean, what are you? A 4 year old with ADD? I don't get it. I like to go out and do things, yes. But I also like to plant my lazy ass on a couch and watch movies and take a nap just because it's 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon and my eyelids are getting heavy. I want someone to take a nap with damnit.

~If he's a conservative republican, not going to happen.

~Bible thumper? Nope.

~This has turned into a very negative list, but I can't help it. Apparently, I know exactly what I don't want.
What I do want is the mystery.