these are the facts

I need an air conditioner. I was getting ready for work in 90 degrees and I was swearing a lot and also my make up was melting off my face the moment it made contact.
My victoria beckham haircut does not hold up well to humidity. F-ing humidity ruins my day.
There was a cross dresser at the tanning place. My friends thought it was funny and they were all like gigglegiggle. She looked over her shoulder at us, I made eye contact and told her she had amazing legs. She so did. She smiled.
I can't deal with small town conservative minds. I can't believe there was a cross dresser in this town and I respect him for not giving a fuck. I mean, this city doesn't sell alcohol on Sundays. That should give you a clue. But she just didn't give a fuck.
I wish I was that ballsy.
No pun.
There were a bunch of storms last night, well maybe just one long storm, I'm not sure. But stuff is flooded. I hope I don't die on my way home.
My dad's friend asked us if we had a place to go if there were tornados or Severe Weather. I guess he thinks the weather is going to be crazy this year because of global warming or whatever. The End Is Near.
We never get tornados, we're too close to Lake Michigan. They just jump right over us and attack those inland peeps. It's true, look it up.
Although a couple summers ago, there were water spouts, those are wicked cool. They disapate when they get over land.
I always wanted to be a meteorologist.
Not really.
So that's enough about weather I guess.
I want to go on vacation. Where should I go?