I wrote this on Easter morning... Just getting around to posting it.

Around 2:00 AM, a drunk man needed a room key because he lost his. As I’m getting him his key, he starts slurring about Easter and it being a Christian holiday. I nod and smile, because I don’t care what this drunk man is saying to me at 2:00 AM. He then asks me what Easter means to me. I don’t want to provoke him anyway, so I say "Easter means... it’s Easter." He then drunkenly slurred/mumbled/yelled about Easter having no meaning and how I don’t love Jesus as he stumbled away. OOOOK. No big deal, I go about my night.

Around 4:30 AM, the same man shows up in the lobby and comes up the desk for another key. He has locked himself out of his room again. This would be fine, except he had NO PANTS ON. Nothing. He was only wearing a short, faded black AC/DC t-shirt from 1989 that covered nothing up. I could practically see his bellybutton. Among other things.

After handing him a towel to cover up, I asked him WHY he would leave his room with no pants on. He slurred that he was just having fun. I turned mean then, and lectured him on watching his behavior in a public place, and told him he could go for jail for this. I told him to go to his room and that I didn’t want to see him again tonight. A few minutes later, he called from his room to yell at me. He said the normal BS a guest always says when they’re mad- that he’s a paying customer, that I should apologize, that I should have treated him with respect- now that got me. I said "Sir, you lost all respect when you came to the front desk with no pants on." I threatened to call the cops, he hung up on me.

Surprisingly, he didn’t mention Jesus again. If Jesus is out there watching, I’m sure he’s proud.

Dangling wang and all.

Is this really my job? Seriously? I should get paid more.

Happy Easter everyone.