I hate the feeling of being undecided. I've always been the type of person to figure out what I want then do what needs to be done to execute that decision. In other words, I don't fuck around.
The last week has been so wishy-washy that I'm not even sure what exactly I accomplished in the last 168 hours since my last post, but I will try to give you the basic run-down.
Sadly, the most fun I had was shopping with J at Target. I spotted some dinner plates that were honestly the coolest I've ever seen (can't find them on the Target website to post a pic, I'll take some sometime). He liked them a lot, and is now claiming he found them, but we all know the truth. He also purchased matching bowls and smaller plates. I love shopping, I can't explain my obsession, but I had so much fun.
We also spent a good amount of time at Best Buy. I had first thought that a TV over 50" would be too big, but alas, I was sucked into huge-tv-land and fell in love with a 61" Samsung. I think that's what he's going to get. I also think this is the main reason I have decided to move in with him.
I've had a few calls about Crusher, none very promising, but a guy is coming to meet him next week. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
I was home a lot the past week, and seemed to make a lot of progress with Lucky (the kitten). I was close to getting rid of her since I never had any intention of having three cats, and I just took her in to save her life. Plus, she is extremely skittish around people and overall not very friendly. She only loves Timber (my other cat) and follows him around obsessivly. But, like I said, I was home a lot, and she actually lets me walk past her without running away to hide, let me pet her, and even climbed up to lay next to me without Timber being there. We're getting there, right? I'd feel bad giving up on her now.
OK, enough of the cat drama.
I was visiting my 92 year old grandma a few days ago, and she gave me some sound advice.
"to screw is not to love"
Thanks, grandma.
She is disappointed that I'm moving in with J before we're married, and I tried to explain to her that it's impractical to think you can marry someone before you even try living with them, but like I said. She's 92. She said "you know what happens after you live with them. you get in bed with them."
I slipped and said "too late."
I'm really glad she is mostly deaf and losing her mind so she didn't catch what I said, and if she did, I'm sure she forgot by now.
It's strange to have a conversation with someone who is going senile. She remembers the past like it happened yesterday, so I let her tell me stories of her life for a couple hours and she seems happy. If you talk about present time, she'll ask the same questions over and over or talk about winter coming 5 minutes after we just talked about it. She knows she's slowly losing her mind, and it bothers her. I know it would scare the shit outta me.
She tells me it's hell to get old, and I believe her.
Tomorrow is an employee appreciation party, what exactly we're doing is a surprise. Our only clue is to "dress warm". I'll let ya know how that goes... Something tells me it will end up being like an episode of The Office. Can't wait!