I'm all growd up.

I've been busy doing all kinds of grown-up type things lately and it makes me feel weird inside. Not really a good or bad thing, but just weird. Sometimes I feel like I'm an adult, other times I feel like I just celebrated my 18th birthday with an 8-ball, a carton of Marlboro Lights, and some porno.
Good times.
Anyway.
I applied for a loan earlier today, and by tomorrow I should know if I'll have $50,000 at my disposal. Scary much? A teeny tiny part of me doesn't trust myself with that much money and I keep having future-flashes of me in in Tijuana lounging by the ocean, smoking cloves, sipping tequila with Pedro the hotel pool boy and not having a cent to my name.
See, I've been known to not give a flying fuck about money. If I want it, I buy it. To a certain extent. Debt? Who cares? You only live once! Money is for spending, doesn't do any good just sitting there, right?
Right?
Yeah, that's pretty much a big, fat wrong. And I'm just lately realizing this because all the sudden I'm way in debt and I don't like it. My credit card payments are cutting into my shopping. I mean, I only have 72 tank tops and 64 bras, and 35 pairs of jeans. It's just not enough to survive on.
I'm so stupid you guys.
So, you may ask why I'm getting a home equity loan. It just equals more debt you may be thinking. But.
With my low interest loan, I can pay off 3 high interest credit cards. That's three bills I won't have to pay every month.
And with some of the money, I'm doing some updating and remodeling on my house so it will be rentable. Once I rent it out, I'll be making a profit. A profit! And I'll be able to pay off even more debt and possibly even have a savings account where I, you know, save money. For the future. Dun dun DUN.
Sounds like a plan, right?
And where will I be living, you wonder?
J is buying a house, and I'll be living with him. Not for free, but definitely very cheap. He may even accept sexual favors or doing the dishes as payment.
Fun!
I've needed a change for awhile now. I've found I get restless after living in a place for longer than 3 years. So... moving on, and hopefully up.