Most of the time, I don't care about holidays very much. Just another day. I feel the same way about my birthday. And other people's birthdays.
It dawned on me that that sort of makes me a jaded, heartless bitch.
I think it's because nothing really compares to how you feel about holidays and birthdays when you're a kid. I mean, that's what I lived for back then. I'd get to see my cousins! And play! And open new toys! Tons of them! If there were no toys, there was yummy food! And I could stuff my face with it because I was a kid and would just run around until I burned off those extra 5,000 calories. I mean, you can't really beat that feelings. Everything was so fucking exciting, you know?
Now, I feel guilty after stuffing myself. I don't really get any presents. I like seeing my family, but even that just isn't the same now that one grandma is dead and the other is in a nursing home, losing her mind. I feel a twinge of excitment when I see the pumpkin pie, because that will always and forever be my favorite, but that's about it.
I'm not sure why I'm this way, but I don't like it. I want to be one of those happy, bright, and shiny people that look forward to things and can still identify with their 8 year old selves.
I guess today I'll try.
Happy Thanksgiving guys.